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Heavens Light

Title:Heavens Light
Characters: Alastor Moody.Minerva McGonnagal.Rufus Scrimgeour.
Rating: PG13? Dark Themes.
Warnings:Dark Themes. Mentions of Torture and Mutilation ( If you could call it that)...Song Fic.Also bad grammar and spelling if your willing to endure.
Summary: Based on the song "Heaven's Light" From Hunchback of Notre Dame. Alastor Moody has broken after he looses his eye. Its up to Two special people in his life to help him find his way.
Disclaimer: Dont own these Characters and dont make profit from these stories...regrettably.
DEDICATED TO:Mad4Moo. For whom without her. He'd never have existed.


HEAVENS LIGHT.

So many times out here
I've watched a happy pair
Of lovers walking in the night
They had a kind of glow around them
It almost looked like heaven's light

Alastor Moody was a man who not only was a realist but he knew when to be a pessimist atop of being an realist. Knowing that there was a good chance he would not come out of doing his job alive. he was willing to accept these consequences. As he knew all good Auror's had, or they would end up being insane...though he wasn't really sure if he hadn't gone that root already...

It had been 6 months since his brush with death. Half his face had been blown away by Dark Wizards wishing to prove a point. There plan had backfired horribly. Not only had they managed to not kill Alastor. but on top of that  they'd made a life long enemy. Someone with nothing to loose.

But late in the nights. He'd be seen awake in his hospital bed staring out the window,face wrapped in gauze and bandanges, a black hole where his chocolate-brown eye had once been.Even his working one had been morphed by the pain he'd felt, crows feet creeping from the side as he grimaced permanently in pain.

Looking out into the night. He hadn't spoken to anyone in over a month.Even Dumbledore who had considered himself a close friend of Alastors had not gotten a word out of him. The only person with whom he seemed to converse with was his young apprentice who seemed to had grown older over the past 6 months.And even then it was through grunts and mutters. Small whisperings that might just have been gibberish. But it was the only time that Alastor seemed to come alive,was when Rufus was there.

Every night he'd look out into the street below and watch Families going home, fathers returning to there families. Mothers carrying children. But late at night,when he knew no one was there to witness his weakness. He'd get up slowly moving over to the window and watching the Couples walking up and down the street,arm in arm, leaning on one another,sharing one another love and happiness...Watching there movements and allowed himself to cry for what he had lost.What he had once wanted and longed for now out of his grasp.

He knew that he would never share that kind of love as he was now...malformed,bitter and twisted.Tormented in soul as well as in body, his face reflecting how and who he felt now.


I knew I'd never know
That warm and loving glow
Though I might wish with all my might
No face as hideous as my face
Was ever meant for heaven's light


Alastor had after seeing his face for the first time...or what was left of it,being willing to accept the inevitable. That he would never find anyone that would accept him with his new broken features. Rufus had shocked him. He'd been the only person who was willing to look him in the eye.  He loved the boy so much.

Thats why he could not allow it to show.The boy had once openly stated that he loved Alastor.And it had brought Alastor to a pause,fearful that one day he might break the boys heart...but now...now he knew he could never fulfill his wishes.That he might never be able to tell the younger man how much he loved him.

It was another reason why at night when he watched the coupled lovers walking in the street he would weep when no one was looking.When all was quiet within the wards and he was alone to his own agony,Wishing he had died. He knew that he was never meant for love or to be loved.  He was useless as he was...Half blind cripple that he was now. His hearing gone completely in one ear though he would never admit it to a living soul. He'd have to find a spell for it...

He knew he was doomed to a fate of lonely moments in solitude, And that he knew would be more torture than having his face torn off. His mind was his own worst enemy. But now the only companion he had...he felt himself slipping into a darknesses,wishing he were dead.



But suddenly an angel has smiled at me
And kissed my cheek without a trace of fright


Months had passed and Alastor was growing weaker. He was no longer climbing out of bed and though Rufus came daily. That was the only time he seemed to be lucid, but still shut off as if scarred that he would let Rufus get too close. He'd tried on several occasions to touch Alastor which had ended in Alastor shaking violently and staring at him as if he were trying to pull his fingers off.

Rufus was in a panic and didn't know what to do. He'd been the only person to come and visit Alastor aside from Albus and even then it wasn't frequent. Only stopping by when something was needed or in question.Rufus had stayed even when Alastor had told him he was not welcome,violently throwing things at him and trying to preform wandless magic (though he no longer seemed to hold much magic...the healers assuring him that it was temporary, he prayed they were right)

In desperation Rufus went through Alastor's journals and found a name that surprised him. Minerva McGonnagall's.. He felt as though he were playing with fire but in his desperation he didn't care! All he knew was that he needed help.

Minerva came as soon as she was summoned,having hoped and dreaded it all in once. She knew that if she were ever summoned to the bed of Alastor Moody, It would mean he were dead or dying. She went without qualm,listening to Rufus as they walked down the halls of St.Mungo's together. Alastor now in the permanent residence ward at the very top of St.Mungo's and he knew that Alastor would be awake even if not up.

Walking up the stairs they came to the single bed that was occupied with a rather depressed Auror. Though as he lifted his head and caught sight of Minerva Several emotions flickered over his face.From astonishment to pain to fear.Eye Flicking from Her to Rufus as they advanced on him.

Wishing he could be killed before they touched his soiled features. Feeling dirty for being in there presence as he lay abed trying to shrink into himself as Minerva took a seat on the one side of the bed and Rufus on the other looking as if he felt he didn't belong there, but a reassuring touch from Minerva that he should indeed be there.

Slowly Alastor looked up and then away unable to stop the flinch as she touched him. Not wanting to let her touch him. But to his surprise unlike every other healer and person that had come in contact with him, she slowly moved the bandages with firm kind hands not flinching or doing it to prolong the inevitable.even though to him it certainly felt that way.Fingers trailing over his injured face. Months old scars still healing but she couldn't keep her eyes off of him . "Oh Alastor..."


I dare to dream that she
Might even care for me
And as I ring these bells tonight
My cold dark tower seems so bright
I swear it must be heaven's light


That was all it took to break Alastor down. Those two words and a few kind touches did what every single death eater and dark wizard had tried to accomplish for decade upon decade.

He finally realized that for all his wish to be left alone and die in misery there were still people out there that loved him. Cared for him.His face still hurt. Disfigured and ugly. He was still half blind and deaf. But he felt a rush within him. And somewhere deep in London he heard the bells of Big Ben chiming.A flood of relief filled him like non other...

And in his wracked and tormented being he felt a light break through the cracks and flood him causing him to cry for the first time in earnest. Not hidden break downs and embarrassing little chocked sobs into his pillow.... He cried and cried,paying no heed to any one that might have bared witness to his weakness.

He clung onto Minerva his hand gripping Rufus's as he felt the part of himself break away. Everything that he had felt from self loathing to his depression broke away and disappeared within the feeling he held...

And when he could no longer cry he lay falling asleep knowing that one day everything would be alright. He was loved.... someone was actually willing to look on him...

He slept soundly then. He knew his Angels were watching over him.



FIN.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
mad4moo
Sep. 21st, 2010 07:26 am (UTC)
I don't cry when I read touching things, they only move me. I feel a flood well up in me, but it rarely breaks. However, the stories which make me cry are the ones you tell...*swallows and holds onto your arm* This made my heart ache. I want nothing more than to love him, to always love him, and I always will. You make him real...as I've said times before. To think that Alastor didn't believe he would be loved because of physical scars was tormenting to read. *frowns* That he cried made my soul keen with sorrow. That he is deaf in one ear but won't tell anyone, fearing it would lessen him...it's unbearably hard to fathom. He will ALWAYS AND FOREVER be loved. Always. He is a good man, and nothing can change that.
Thank you for your tales...how much you put into them, how much you love him too. <3
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )